This whole blog was suppose to be about sex and the reason I wanted to write about sex was because recently i have some, well, pretty good sex.

Okay, lets get something out of the way here, umm, how do i say this, i don’t think i’m gay, i only ever really dated a couple of women and they had to do most of the heavy lifting, in the relationship, if im totally honest – had i had more confidence with sex in general, i most likely would have explored this part of myself way more, but in saying that i am a ‘people person’ i mostly enjoy forming a connection with a person and if i dont ‘feel it’ then i wont …’feel-feel it’ enough to hope into bed with you, that doesn’t mean that i haven’t had casual sex, i like sex, i love and enjoy having a good time.

What it does mean, at least for me, is that my ideas around sex seem to be a little different to my mostly hetero straight female friends.

I kinda always just thought i had to wait, or that my ‘phase’ of crazy sex was coming but it just never came, when i lived in europe, yeah i had some great sexual experiences, but mostly with people who i considered good friends of mine, oh how love the european summer.

Sorry sidetracked

The whole point is that i didn’t have as much sex as the great majority of my friends and this made me, feel, kinda, well ‘left out’

Skip forward a few years, and i have made my way from living in the UK to a moving to Melbourne Victoria. I first lived with a boyfriend of mine who turned out to be a bit of a jerk, then i moved into another shared house ect, ect, until finally, i made my way to house in South Melbourne.

A new house mate moved in he’s name was mike*, mike was a tradie and a musician and smoked weed in his spare time.

Anyhoo

We had toyed with the idea of having sex, and by that i mean i had thought about it on more than 1 occasion.

Mike had a much better set up in his room, so we would hang out in there mostly talking about our other housemates and watching obscure YouTube videos.

After a couple of weeks, i thought i might make the move, and ask mike to stay in my room. He agreed and as we lade their, quietly, i started to wonder if my simi intense flirting had got me anywhere.

I rolled over and we made out, the kiss was, it ..was well ‘fine’, not bad, not amazing, but you know, just ‘fine’.

Okay, next step some foreplay…. wait..wait..nope.

No foreplay, went straight to the sex part, and it was all over in proximity 5 mins flat.

I was confused

I was really confused, i don’t want to admit that i was disappointed, but i was more in shock, ‘why, what, are we just not that invested in my needs’ also i started thinking that age old thing we sometimes do,

‘has sex changed since i last had it and im just not on the mailing list about any of the latest updates’

It ended with “don’t worry i’ll get you back’

which didn’t make me feel any better, i just felt, ‘mah’ about the whole situation and that, in any other situation where i wasn’t able to ‘get mine’ i wouldn’t go back for seconds.

Here it goes…

I was kind of a prick before this and i honestly thought that if i wasn’t going to climax with someone than, it probably wasn’t worth my time going back for another round, but, before you judge me,

Hear me out

I am not the only one, I don’t want men or women to read this blog post and think to themselves ‘i better give it a real hot crack the 1st time – otherwise, they aren’t coming back. I personally wouldn’t go back with someone even if we had a good track record and then ‘struck out once’

UGH….

i know, im a total asshole, each line i write is worsening my own self glorified ‘nice girl persona’ something i thought i had done a pretty good job of achieving. Here i am weeks after the said, 1st time with Mike* my house mate and i started to flirt with a new someone else, a very cool guy melbourne producer, ‘match made in dj heaven! So i thought. I mention this to a close friend of mine and she starts to give me ‘the talk’ the very real, the very normalised ‘i had sex with him and this is what it was like for me talk.

‘Sex with this guy was bad‘

She said, pretty straight forward – and i just had to know, i wanted to understand what was being said, and exactly by what measure his sex was deemed ‘bad’

“He had no rhythm’ still not sold on the idea, i don’t get it ‘well, he wouldn’t stay in one position for very long at all and everytime i got on top he said that he was about to cum so we had to switch again’ to be totally fair my friend said alot more to me about the whole experience but i don’t want to mention it hear because if someone ever reads this and that someone is him, than the next two lines would been a dead-give-a-away on who the melbourne music producer is that apparently was terrible in sexy sack.

Anyhoo…

I feel as tough its important to mention i liked this guy, not enough to date, but enough to have sex with and, you know, see how things go, after this conversation, i thought it was best to, well, not sleep with the guy. It happens, im almost certain it isn’t just a ‘me thing’ and as a matter of fact the opposite is also true, many a friend has asked a women for a sex-frence and based off a good review gone on to have a cheeky dingle and pringle party.

Hear I am.

Single, bored and well, moving house.

Mike offers to help.

I take the offer, but leave it to get something small helped with – as to save myself any obligation sex.

After helping to move 1 (count it 1) bulky item Mike also offers to help set up the bed, the couch and a bunch of other chores i was basically going to either ignore until it broke or replace it with another cheap crappy version of itself. Much like my last realationships.

Here we are …

Laying down, on my couch watching yet another stupid YouTube video, when the ‘adventurous side’ of me comes out to play and says ….

“Hey lets have some sex’

Let me lay it out for you – real quick, we females like a story, so this would be mine. We started to make out, again it was ‘fine’ not great but ‘fine’ then Mike went down on me.

EVERYTHING CHANGED.

There’s a part in the movie ‘think like a women’ where the character played by Mel Gibson, gets the gift of being able to hear what his female counterparts are thinking, there is one scene where he uses this new found resauce to get inside the woman’s head he is having sex with, surprisingly, he is terrible to begin with but then, he starts to pay attention to what she is thinking, and with that gives her a one off experience of a life time, that scene was exactly the way i would describe my interaction with Mike, the second time around.

Some people are good with cars, some people have a thing for the fiddles and Mikes ‘thing’ was that he could drive you like an Italian sports car and never want anyone else behind wheel.

I asked my male friends about this and they said that they would never not go back for sex with someone, just because they didn’t have a great time the first time around, which makes me think, ‘am i being foolish in not giving a guy a second or 3rd shot in bed?

Well, if the experience ( and many, many more after that came along with it ) with Mike said anything it was one thing

‘Give people a second chance’ they could end up being the Best Sex you have ever had’

Who know just how many decent sexual experiences i have been talk out of by myself due to one or 2 not so great times in bed with someone.

🙂 Peace out 🙂